Declarations

Begin

The quote in it's entirety is as follows and there is some real debate as to whether or not it really comes from Goethe. Regardless of who the quote comes from or whether parts of it were borrowed from one author or another, the quote has come together with truth in it's core and that is what draws me to it.

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans; that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of thiings occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."

So today I begin.

The iPhone Mom (Because it's not your husbands iphone)

My nickname is MacMama and iLove anything Apple! Yes, iAm a Mac Head!

Years ago, my son, who was born a Mac lover finally talked me into trashing my old PC and switching over to the world of Mac. iRemember the whole experience as if it were yesterday. It was really scary, like standing on a cliff and leaping through the air into the unknown. By the way, we use to do that at Lake Powell until they made it illegal to plumet from any cliff into the water. My ultimate fear of heights kept me from jumping then, and iHad the same fear when iThought about abandoning my PC.

"Mom, just switch to Mac, you won't be sorry," Gav nagged. So finally iDid! iClosed my eyes, made the leap, called the Apple store, and purchased my first PowerBook G4.

iOnly had to open up the box and turn it on and iFell in love. iV'e been a Mac Head ever since. In fact when the new MacBook Pro came out, iSold my PowerBook G4 and bought the Pro.

Since that time Apple has become my world. My family all complains that iSpend more time on my Mac than iDo with them. iThink there are some serious jealousy issues going on!

When the first iPhone came out, my son was first on the waiting list. La tee da dee da!!! iWas second. Ok, so we weren't really first and second, but we jumped all over the new Apple iPhone as soon as we caught a glimpse of it.

iWas a T-mobile subscriber until iHeard about the iPhone. iCouldn't get to the AT&T store fast enough. iRan right over secured a family plan and signed us all up. That's it. The rest is history. We're a Mac family now!

A week or so ago my Mac Head son called me up and proceeded to tout his latest purchase. What planet had iBeen living on? iHadn't even heard about the new iPhone4. iGave my son a roil lecture for not keeping his precious mother informed, and promised him there would be serious repercussions if he didn't tell me how to order one immediately. I'm old, iNeed help with these things.

I'm now waiting for the white iPhone4 to come out in August. It's torture seeing MacGav and Caroline touching and fondling their new iPhones (grrrrr). iWanted one so bad iWas tempted to order the black. Being a practical woman though, and loving white like iDo, I'm waiting for my favorite color to make it's debut. i'M telling you, it's torture being practical!

Check out a new site iFound. "The iPhone Mom," iJust know i'M her kindred spirit, cause i'M definitely an iPhone mom too.

Have fun watching this new promo on the iPhone4 ---I'm warning you though, you're going to want one! Go on take the leap! Buy one today!

We're Talkin Dirty Here

Have you ever noticed how it becomes more and more difficult to slide your hangers along your closet rod. It's like dragging metal along a chalk board. Yikes!

I learned this little secret working at a clothing store. I was amazed when I came home and tried it out on my own closet rods.

Now some of you are probably thinking who in the world has time to clean their closet rods, right? Just try this - indulge me. When it's time to clean your closet out, take a couple of extra minutes at the end of the whole process and shine the rods with your wax paper. You'll be amazed.

Take a square piece of wax paper, bunch it up, and rub it back and forth along your rod several times, kind of like you were shinning your favorite pair of Sunday shoes. Now slide those hangers along the rod and see how easy they glide. I must be deranged because I get a real high out of this. Love it!

Landslide & It's Meaning

The other day I was listening to my favorite song "Landslide" by Stevie Knicks. I never grow tired of this song. I was on the way to Bear Lake and I love to turn up the volume as I drive. I was belting out the tune when my cute daughter Des, ask me about the meaning behind the words we were singing.

I told her what I'd read and heard, how the song is basically about Stevie Nicks growing up and learning to make her own decisions in life, it's about her relationship with her father.

Stevie wrote "Landslide" back in 1975, two months before she joined Fleetwood Mac. At that time she was living with Lindsey Buckingham (who would become the guitarist in Fleetwood Mac) they were trying to make it in the music business, but they were very, very poor and were being reluctantly supported by Stevie's parents.

Finally, her father gave her an ultimatum - he said he'd support them for six more months, and if they hadn't made it by then, Stevie would have to get a real job and learn the hard way. Some tough love advice, I guess.

So, at the time Stevie wrote Landslide, she was about a month into that six-month window, and she didn't know what to do. Part of her was afraid to strike out in the world without her father's help, part of her knew she had to let him go and become independent, and part of her was afraid of what would happen in the unknown.

So, I guess you can say the song is partly about her father, but it's mainly about herself and coming to understand herself better as she grew older.

As for the images of her reflection in the snow and the landslide, the snow, the mountains - that all comes from being in Aspen, Colorado, when she wrote the song. She was surrounded by those images. In the song, they represent the precariousness of her situation in life. As she puts it, "I realized everything could tumble." In other words, she knew if she didn't make the right decisions, she could lose everything.

After explaining all of this to my daughter, I told her the meaning behind the song for me. When I listen to the words "I've built my life around you." I think of my children and how hard it is on me when they take wings of their own, when they take flight, when they move on with lives of their very own. It has forced me to think about what I will do with my own life when they are all gone. What will I work on personally when my time is not completely focused on them, because like the song says, I have built my whole life around all eight of them!

I hear the words "Take my love and take it down. I climbed a mountain and I turned around. And I saw my reflection in a snow covered hill, and a landslide brought me down." Relationships with people we love are at times difficult and intense. Learning to love ourselves is no easy feat either. We spend so much time and energy coming to new places in these relationships, only to have things spin out of our control. Things happen in life; painful things that sweep us away, like a landslide.

And when she sings, "Oh mirror in the sky, what is love? Can the child in my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changing ocean tide? Can I handle the season's of my life?" For me, these questions strike deep at the heart. I learned a dysfunctional way of thinking as a child and I have fought that thinking pattern my whole life. And like that out of control feeling of being swept away by the very earth beneath one's feet, so often I have struggled to get my thoughts planted firmly on any kind of solid ground.

The image God holds of me is not the image I often times hold of myself. How I long to look up to my Father in Heaven and see my true countenance reflected in Him. So often I have wished I could see myself in His mirror. Can my heart rise above all of the pain I sometimes feel in the battle to overcome myself? No one really has any comprehension of the inward wars I have fought or how painful those struggles have been. Those battles have been different in each season of my life and it always takes an enormous amount of efforting to work through the major obstacles dysfunctional thinking brings.

However, it's true,"Time makes you bolder, even children get older, and I'm getting older too." So here I am in this pattern of learning and growing and finding out who I am and what I'm really made of. Some days I feel bold in my thoughts and abilities. Then there are those times I feel quite weak, and so often overcoming that feeling of weakness feels like climbing a mountain. And like the song expresses, when my doubts come creeping back in, often overtaking me, when things in life fly at me, and I react poorly, surely it feels like I'm tumbling down again in a land slide.

As Des and I rode along, I hit replay on the Ipod one more time. Every time I sing this song I feel like I'm getting stronger. Together Des and I sang loud. I cherish these times in the car when it's just me and my kids, driving and singing all the way to a place where I feel peace. I love driving up that mountain on the way to my place in Bear Lake. It's a reflective drive. I've driven it in every kind of weather. It's symbolic to me. I'm 52 now and I'm definitely getting bolder in life. Each day the longer I live the more I see what's really important and I have learned if I hold on to the fundamental principles my Father in Heaven has given me, I can ride out any slide.